What is inside me? Self Destruction/ Description

I face the world with a smile, no one knows what is hid inside.
They see only happiness, they cant see the tears I've cried.

When I am alone I hurt, because here I do it well.
In front of all the watchful eyes my heaven turns to hell.

The judge and jury awaits me, everyone has a say.
In a life that hangs suspended for yet another day.

Who are they to judge if what I have done is right or wrong?
In the end I gave her up, but inside still sing her song.

I don't know how to find the strength I thought I had.
If only I could play tough it wouldn't be so bad.

They say that life goes on and someday I'll smile again.
But, how do they know my pain without being where I've been?

I've traveled so far from home, and can't find my way back.
Somewhere along the way I must have jumped the track.

I saw her couple of days back and her smile is still the same.
She looked at me so sweetly, but never spoke my name.

I wonder if she remembers me.
It hasn't been that long.
She may have forgotten me,
but I still sing her song.